Revisiting Childhood Memories

Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age 

The child is grown, and puts away childish things. 

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.

Edna St. Vincent Millay 

If anyone ask me what would you like best, I would answer, being a child, where we can become unresponsible yet create no harm.

So last week I try to relive my childhood by visiting a place where I spend most of my holiday during my younger years. It's Batu, Malang. 

My Grandpa from my father's side used to have a building that used to be an old movie theatre that he converted into a 3 bedroom villa, without changing the exterior much. It located in Batu main street, few blocks away from Alun-Alun Batu, where they have a big apple statue. 

As a child, what I can remember is the building is huge. The front of the building can accommodate 4 cars parking side by side, while the ceiling is super high. 

The bathroom at the back of the house is also super huge. The place that hold water for 'mandi' is like our private swimming pool, because it's about 2 meters long and 1 meter's width, with height around 1 meter, yet Grandpa only allow us to "swim" there when we are about to leave the place, since he would deligently empty "bak mandi" before leaving for Surabaya.

Near the back entrance, my Grandpa used to buy shallots from nearby farmers, hang it on rows of bamboo sticks until it dryed, and selling it to the passer-by from the back entrance (usually local people who lives there). 

He knows many people in Batu, including one Indian descendant that he often asked to keep an eye of his villa when he's back in Surabaya. He knows the best local place that sells "pluntir" and "kue moho", that I later know as Fuqing snacks, and that's why he loved it so much. (My Grandpa was born in Fuqing and relocate to Indonesia during his younger year)

When my Grandpa are going to nearby market, he would walk us to the market located near Alun-Alun on feet, because the slope is descending. On the way back home, he would order an "dokar" (horse-pulled cart) for us to go home. Sometimes when my Dad joins, he will treat us fresh milk from nearby "Koperasi" that collect milk from all farmers.

Near my Grandpa villa, there's a Catholic Boarding School, Susteran Sang Timur, where my cousins went to school. My "Sanko" is the one who bring us there one holiday where he joins our family on Batu Trip and stay in our house. He introduces us to the Sisters who lived there, and I still vividly remember, one of the Sisters gave me a phosphoric rosary, which we are amazed at, because it glows in the dark. 

One time, my Grandpa took us to walk in the countryside and it was still dark. I remember I was so afraid initially since I was only in my 1st or my 2nd grade, and I used to even sleep with the light on. But we keep walking near the paddyfield until it is sunrise and things were never be the same for me. Now I sleep with the light off. Darkness becames enemy no more. 

There is a vihara near my Grandpa's villa where in certain day, they would have "wayang potehi" performance. I remember my Dad took us there, and honestly, the music and the chanting of the performers telling the stories in Hokkien dialects are magically creepy. 

So last week when we visited Batu, the place is very different. Boosted by the growth of the town which used to be laid back, rural and humble, it changes to be a bustling and busy. Thanks to the development of Jatim Park 1 and Jatim Park 2, then many more Museum like "Musium Angkut", it becames tourist destination that brings money to its inhabitant. 

Like any other development, everything became commercial and instant. Many hotels and resorts are springing around Batu, leaving the old establishment appears old and shabby. Gone are the day we would leisurely hanging around in KUD Batu with the farmers. Now we have to queue in line to get the milk, and it's already bottled and flavoured.





KUD Batu


Alun-Alun Batu


Ketan Legenda

You must queue to all eating place, ketan, jagung bakar, sosis bakar. You must queue to buy ticket, you must queue to enter Jatim Park, etc. Sea of people on weekend flooding Batu. 

The place that used to be my Grandpa's villa is still there, and now used as motorcycle showroom, while the house next to it, is still as I remembered. High fence, and tall trees that used to be the breeding place for bats. 

The vihara nearby is still there, quiet now, I guess less people went there, younger generations embraces christianities more than buddhists. The soto seller behind my Grandpa's villa has closed its business, or relocate somewhere and I bet it is already run by his relatives. I don't know where the Fuqing snack sellers and whether they are still in business or not, since their place is their home and they don't have shop.

Susteran Sang Timur is still there. I would remember it to be my first meeting with Mother Mary, forever. And that was waaaayyyy before I got baptized. And Sanko... I barely see him in years now... Kinda miss him...

We used to swim in Songgoriti where they have big cold water swimming pool as well as hot water spring, or Selekta (take turn on the Vihara and going straight to the peak), or Sengkaling (on the way to Malang). And I don't even know how they look like right now. Wonder if anybody still go there. I remember tickets to Sengkaling is Rp. 3000,- last time I went there. Compare to Rp. 120.000 for Jatim Park on weekday. No contest really.

Despite all that... Batu always bring warm feeling to my heart... It's a place where my Grandpa and my Dad's memories are always... always alive ..... as if they never dies....

Batu, 25-27 March 2017

Tentang Pantang dan Puasa, serta Penantian KedatanganNya

Gue udah jadi Katolik 20+ tahun, tetapi Katoliknya yang abangan. Alias Katolik KTP. Ke Gereja suka-suka. Pantang suka-suka (kalo inget). Puasa kaga pernah. Dan gue selow aja dengan kondisi itu. Mungkin itu yang namanya comfort zone. Boro-boro kenal dengan orang di lingkungan, kalo ke Gereja aja buru-buru cepetan pulang setelah komuni, bahkan sebelum berkat penutup.








As we get older, dengan meleburnya kita dalam komunitas dan ritual-ritual keagamaan, kita jadi bertanya ke dalam diri sendiri. Apa yang kita cari dengan mengikuti Dia? Dia yang dahulu dibenci bahkan dibunuh oleh lingkungannya. Dia yang disangkal muridnya. Dia yang dijauhi sanak keluarganya. Apakah kita akan tetap mengikuti Dia bila kita dibenci, disangkal, dijauhi?


Kita mulai mencari makna. Makna dari kenapa harus melakukan ritual keagamaan, kenapa harus ada doa di komunitas (dari Keluarga, lingkungan, hingga Misa di Paroki). Ada teman yang bahkan menyindir gue saat gue ikut Kursus Evangelisasi Pribadi, bahwa gue sedang religious masturbation. Orang yang ikut retret, pencurahan, adorasi, dianggap sedang masturbasi spiritual. Rest in Spirit dianggap orgasme spiritual.


Demikian juga saat kita memasuki Masa Prapaskah, dimana dari Gereja Katolik ada kewajiban berpantang dan berpuasa, ada juga sindiran bahwa puasa Katolik itu puasa nanggung. Puasa agama lain, lebih ‘keras’ dan lebih ‘sulit’ untuk dilakukan, therefore ‘berkat’ yang didapat juga lebih banyak, ‘dosa yang diampuni’ juga lebih banyak.


Mari kita kembali ke dalam hati kita. Niat kita untuk melakukan semua ritual keagamaan tersebut itu apa? Apabila niat kita untuk dilihat orang, namanya religious exhibitionism. Kalau kita melakukan ritual untuk dipuji orang, namanya religious masturbation. Kalau niat kita mendapat berkat dan ampunan, namanya pamrih, dan menganggap Allah manager investasi berkat dan ampunan. Kalau kita melakukan puasa supaya kurus, itu namanya diet.


Jadi bagaimana seharusnya hati kita?


Sebagai orang Katolik, kita percaya bahwa kita sudah diberkati, kita sudah ditebus dari dosa, kita sudah beroleh kasih sempurna dari Allah Bapa melalui misteri sengsara, wafat, dan kebangkitan Bapa. Tetapi kita belum selesai dalam peziarahan di dunia. Dan sebagai Gereja yang Berjuang / Berziarah, teman seperjalanan kita banyak, dengan kondisi yang berbeda-beda. Ada yang dalam kondisi berkekurangan makanan / pakaian / tempat tinggal. Ada yang dalam kondisi berkekurangan kasih sayang / perhatian / pendidikan.


Disaat itulah kita diminta tanggapannya, bagaimana kita menuju ke Bapa bila kita membiarkan Yesus yang kelaparan, kehausan, sakit, dipenjara (Matius 25:31-46)? Bagaimana kita meringankan beban saudara sepeziarahan yang bersama-sama ingin menuju Kristus. Bahwa doa, amal, dan puasa kita, kita persembahkan untuk silih atas dosa-dosa kita, silih atas penderitaan orang lain, silih atas Gereja dalam Penantian (yang kita percaya sebagai arwah orang beriman yang menanti di api penyucian).


Masalah penghakiman akhir, masalah dosa, masalah sah atau tidak puasa kita, kita serahkan semuanya ke Kerahiman Allah, karena kita pun tidak tahu, mana yang benar ataupun yang salah. Yang penting kita coba menjaga hati kita untuk benar dan lurus, menuju dan mengarah kepada Allah... Sangkan Paraning Dumadi... Alpha dan Omega kita...