Being Chinese in Indonesia

I am third generation of Chinese descendants in Indonesia.  All of my grandparents from both side either mom or dad,  was born in China and spend their childhood there until sometime in their young adult moved to Indonesia for a better living.

Being Chinese who were born in 60s and 70s is a continuous struggle about our identity.  New Order under Soeharto has banned all Chinese schools in mid 60s, leaving my mom and dad (we was born in 40s) no choice but enter workforce (or marriage for female).  My uncles and aunts who were born in 50s even have to stop getting education because moving to another system (Indonesian and Holland)  was almost impossible. My uncles who were creme de la creme of the family were sent to China, to study (which was faced with the Cultural Revolution which prohibit them from actually going to school and end up working as well, but that's gonna be another full article on itself).

We were not allowed to use Chinese language,  read Chinese books.  Even the Chinese new year,  we celebrated it as casually as possible.  Barongsai was never on the street like now.  I remembered one holiday in 1985 where we were suppose to enter China (at that time Indonesia didn't have diplomatic relationship with China),  and we were constantly reminded not to allow our passport to be stamped in China border.  We had to make sure that our travel,  in the eye of the immigration authorities,  never went beyond Hongkong).

Living with my superstitious mom (as my husband often mockingly accused) and my superstitious mom-in-law, however, has opened my opportunity to widen my horizon about Chinese culture. The hidden rituals, the forgotten calculations, the ignored habits.

Being Chinese is constantly reminded that: M A L E   >   F E M A L E , due to patrilineal and patriachal social construction. Male is regarded as breeding the next generation who will bear the family name, will be the bread-winner of the family (usually involving taking care of the aging parents). Female on the other hand, will be lost after grown-ups, became the asset of her husband's family (and being the reproduction machine).

Being Chinese is painful truth that you don't belong. You don't belong in China where people called you Qiao Ren (overseas). You don't belong in Indonesia where people called you  CINA  as an insult. Even if you were born in Indonesia, never set your foot in China, cannot speak chinese, and your ancestors have been here for generations.

Being Chinese is often regarded as  R I C H  and  C O R R U P T , even if the richest in Forbes or Fortune lists are mostly indigeneous family who has been in power for sometime.  And even if the average of Chinese are richer than the average of indigeneous people, it's more because chinese are hardworking, minding their own business, cunning, and have an extensive network to back up the business.

No matter how hard we work to keep the company running and avoid lay offs, to feed our employees (which today is 5 times harder than it was in previous years), we will never be good enough, or kind enough.

And sadly, it's our own Vice President who keep echoing that economic inequality in Indonesia is because Chinese who is majority Confucianist and Christians. 

http://m.republika.co.id/amp_version/olz3yu382

Why such kind of insinuation while few hand picked indigenous people own mounting wealth from financial reengineering, power exert, collusion, and combination of all those. 

And why he said that in Moluccas who is also one of minority and poor area. Why he also fails to acknowledge that the rich chinese that he points out got their wealth from special concessions granted by President during New Order (late 60's to late 90's).

I guess as Chinese we have to keep chewing bitter pills as hard core truth that HERE, we are UNWANTED and dispensable. 

I would teach my kids to love this country, and at the same time realizing that this is probably one-sided love. I hope when they grown up, either Indonesia has imporved (eventhough these few months things seem to be bleak), that they don't have to make a choice to keep caling Indonesia their MOTHERLAND. 

Or else, I pray that my kids will have the means and opportunity and capability to leave and find a new place they can call HOMELAND. 

Only time will tell.

Cibubur, 13 May 2017

(19 years from the unacknowledge riots that victimized Chinese female)

Media sosial dan Manusia Modern

Kemajuan ilmu pengetahuan dan tehnologi belakangan ini memang sangat pesat.  Dengan adanya jaringan yang terinterkoneksi, batas negara itu seakan memudar, kita menjadi masyarakat yang berbaur dengan masyarakat internasional. Di sisi lain, sistem perekonomian juga melebur menjadi satu, istilah kerennya perekonomian global. Maka ada istilah duit tidak mengenal negara. Begitu juga jodoh #eaaaa #gubrag

Seiring dengan berubahnya tatanan sosial dalam kehidupan manusia, ada beberapa perubahan dalam diri kita seiring dengan penggunaan media sosial yang semakin lama semakin merangsek kehidupan nyata kita. Berikut beberapa ciri-ciri manusia modern dan media sosial yang dipergunakannya.

1. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism

Kegemaran untuk melihat dan dilihat. Bisa kita lihat, hal-hal yang dulu disembunyikan, baik itu tubuh sebagai representasi seksual, harta sebagai indikator kesuksesan pribadi, preferensi/ orientasi seksual di luar yang mainstream (alias LGBT), sekarang bertaburan di media sosial.  Baik itu FB, Path, Twitter, Instagram, dst.  Perlu diingat para voyeurist dan exhibitionist ini adalah orang-orang yang mempunyai kepuasan tertentu saat apa yang dipamerkan/dicari dilihat dan disukai banyak orang. Dilihat dari jumlah orang yang merespond dengan Like atau <3

Harap dibedakan dengan beberapa kaum yang memang memajang dengan niat 'jualan' ya... Karena kalau itu, mereka menganggap kegiatan posting-posting ini sebagai alat jualan atau advertising. Mereka orang-orang praktis. 

2. Visual stimulations

Kata siapa laki-laki itu mudah terstimulasi secara visual. Wanita pun. Karena manusia cenderung lebih mudah terstimulasi secara visual, maka media sosial yang disukai juga yang bisa menampilkan / menawarkan stimulasi seksual ini. Contohnya: Instagram, Facebook, Path, Pinterest, Tumbler.

Untuk itulah twitter dan ask.fm yang hanya bertumpu pada kata (walaupun banyak juga yang suka attach foto maupun video), dianggap mempunyai 'nilai tambah' hanya untuk orang-orang (yang katanya) intelektual.

Tapi hal ini pun aku challenge dengan artian, Twitter dan ask.fm bisa jadi hanya entry point untuk interaksi lebih lanjut. Tentunya, dengan beda generasi, Twitter akan berakhir di BBM atau Whatsapp, adapun ask.fm berakhir di Line. Yakin juga, dalam interaksi yang lebih personal, akhirnya visual stimulation lah yang lebih menang. 

Gampangnya, cewe2 cantik dengan body bohay akan punya teman/follower lebih banyak daripada orang yang tampang biasa-biasa saja. Juga, foto2 cewe cantik dan sexy, yang ngelike bejibun.

3. Materialism

Dulu pamer harta itu dianggap aib. Orang kaya pun to some extent berusaha untuk hidup biasa-biasa aja. Nah, sekarang, pamer itu hukumnya wajib. Dan yang banyak dipamerkan adalah.. ya harta... apalagi. Bisa berupa uang, baju/tas mahal, liburan ke luar negeri, lifestyle atau gaya hidup, dst. Intinya, pamer membuat kita exist.  

Kalo gak percaya, salah satu dari posting instagram gue yang paling banyak di like adalah gambar duit. Mungkin kalo yang gue jebreng adalah US Dollar, yang ngelike lebih banyak lagi. Makin kaya, makin exist.

4. Existence in a form of Approval from Others

Berlawanan dengan konsep inner peace, maka saat ini banyak orang yang gelisah dan unhappy bila postingannya gak banyak yang nge-like. Seakan eksistensi hidup kita ini tergantung dari approval orang lain tentang seberapa menariknya postingan kita. Padahal postingan kita belum tentu mencerminkan kenyataan.  Berapa banyak orang yang posting mengenai kesetiaan saat dia bercumbu dengan selingkuhannya.

Saat happiness kita tergantung dari respond teman-teman (dan bahkan orang asing) di media sosial, saat itu juga, kita menyerahkan inner peace kita kepada FB algorithm, instagram algorithm, dan penghitungan perangkat lunak yang akan memprioritaskan atau tidak memprioritaskan posting kita berdasarkan kata kunci tertentu. 

Menyedihkan? Hooh.... 

5. Menjauhkan yang Dekat dan Mendekatkan yang Jauh

Pameo ini sudah beredar lama, namun menurut gue sampai saat ini masih relevan banget. Dengan media sosial, stalking skill kita terhadap orang-orang yang cuma kita kenal sepintas lalu, atau bahkan tidak kita kenal sama sekali (apalagi untuk selebiti maupun selebriti-selebritian) meningkat dengan tajam secara eksponensial. 

Tetapi pada saat yang bersamaan, terhadap orang di sekitar kita, kita menunjukkan ketidaktertarikan , bahkan merasa terganggu ... 

Paradoks adalah keinginan kita untuk memeluk modernitas dan kemajuan tehnologi, membuat kita justru kehilangan pelukan dari orang-orang yang kita cintai.....

22 Mei 2015

16:18

ditulis sambil galau karena program komputer crash dan harus input ulang semua transaksi